Broken as The Heart
by fiddywitch
Summary: The story follows Draco Malfoy as he embarks on his first real relationship until, haunted by his turbulent home life, Draco falls into self destruct mode, torturing himself and ruining the life of the only person he ever truly loved.
1. Chapter 1

Okay this is my first fic, so please be gentle :)

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* * *

Chapter 1**

His eyes fixed intently their gaze upon his grubby fingers, drawn into a fist. They had twitched constantly throughout his delivery of news and it was only now, in the quiet that heralded the storm that would surely come, that they laid still. He dare not raise his head to face the man before him. And this was curious. Only last week he would have stared Lucius Malfoy straight in the eyes. And there he would find the eyes of a friend. The laughter lines, he knew, still framed the pupils. But now? He doubted they would ever crinkle again.

The hall was large- everything was large in the Malfoy's manor. Everything decadent, everything designed to scream their good fortune to the world. Golden ornate frames hung on the wall displaying the past generations of Malfoy. The most recent and the most prominent hung above the fireplace, basked in the soft glow of the fire that had now succumbed to embers.

The portrait showed the man before him; proud and commanding, his silver hair lounging about his shoulders and his hand gripped tightly his cane that housed his own deadly wand. To his left stood a woman, alike to him, but her features were softer. Her head was titled to his shoulder lovingly but her eyes were directed to the boy who knelt at Lucius' feet. He was around nine years of age and the spitting image of his parents. He was no more remarkable- an average boy. Just as the family were no more remarkable.

"Quirrel? You tell me that he has the Dark Lord?"

"Yes, or what is left of him anyway." the man gabbled pleased but also wary of the broken silence, fearful of what it might bring.

"And he wishes to raise him once more… through the Philosophers Stone?"

"Yes, sir."

Lucius breathed in deeply. Concern flickered across his eyes. For the first time in ten years he was uncertain.

The woman had appeared a short time ago silently, now she came forward and placed her hand on her husband's shoulder offering him a quiet strength. She spoke to the man before her in a pleasant but firm tone, "thank you for bringing us the news, I trust you will have a safe journey home".

"But- what are you going to do?" the man asked with rising panic.

"What needs to be done will, I am sure, be done in time. It really is getting late, I'm sure your wife will be anxious. Do you wish to use the fireplace? We have plenty of floo powder."

He dismissed her offer angrily and started forward to lay a hand on Lucius' robe but stopped himself at the look on his face.

Instead it was Narcissa who moved towards him and gently took his elbow as she led him from the hall. Once she had checked he had left she strode back towards her husband. She stood before him so he breathed in her sweet scent and felt the warmth of her breath on his face.

She stroked a finger against his cheek holding his face lightly in her palms. Her pupils followed the finger as it trailed slowly up her husbands cheek until it tickled his eyelid.

Suddenly she inhaled quickly, catching her breath in fright at what she saw nestled there. A shadow. Small, fleeting but unmistakable, that same darkness that had occupied his eyes every second of every day during the War.

"Mum?"

She melted away from Lucius quickly and faced her son.

"Draco, darling, are you all packed?"

He nodded then flipped his head towards his father "who was that man?" he asked.

"No one," she soothed "just an old friend sweetheart." She placed her arms around his shoulders and steered him towards the pantry "shall we see if we have some sweets for the journey tomorrow? We'll find you your wand remember? My little boy! You'll soon be my little fully fledged wizard."

"Muum," he grumbled "I'm eleven, I'm not little!"

She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes, her mind was still resting on the black in the eye of her husband who stood staring desolately into the flames.

_

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3 years later…_

Draco Malfoy sat sandwiched between his mother and an old witch who was dozing into her match programme in the Minister of Magic's luxury box. The match was well over and he was bored. His father was in the corner discussing the merits of collaborating with the Bulgarian stock trade in terms of the economy, with the Minister. It seemed that it was well run in terms of offering high standard magical roots and herbs. Not that Lucius really cared. It was all more of a ploy to keep up appearances.

His mother patted his hand. "Did you enjoy that?"

He shrugged nonchalantly "was ok".

She tutted in mock disapproval. "All that money spent on these tickets. We give you a luxury box, the finest companions and a chance to watch history in the making. And you think it was ok? A true teenager."

He allowed a small smile.

"And those veela? Come on, don't you tell me they weren't mesmerising. Those bodies! So hot!"

"Mother!" he said shocked.

She giggled a little "is that not the word you kids use these days? Darling, even I admit they were gorgeous." she leant over and pinched his cheek, "soon you'll have a girl. If not already, I doubt you'd tell your old mother." she glanced towards her husband and a shadow passed over her eyes. "Take care of her Draco."

He squirmed. "There's no girl."

Narcissa broke off her gaze and smiled back at her son. "Ok darling, as you insist. Why don't you go explore? Find your friends? Its dull here, they'll be talking business for the rest of the evening no doubt."

He nodded dutifully. He didn't bother telling her that he had no friends. Oh, associates, yes, he had them. And hangers on. And those who idolised him through their own fear. But not friends. She'd only be concerned and he hated causing his mother pain. She had enough of that.

He moved through the forest with an air of bored arrogance that served as his natural state. he kicked at the moss on the forest floor tilting his foot every now and then as the moist tendrils clung to his shoe.

He could hear the chatter of the people in the tents as they cooked their meals. He had never been camping. Their family holidays when he was young had always been to grand hotels or else they had stayed with members of the Ministry. Some years France, Rome, once to the Seychelles, but they had never been camping. His father had despised it- Muggles camped. And he doubted his mother would enjoy it. He could not imagine her serene self in a cramped tent, sleeping on the floor like an animal. But he would have loved it. Just once.

They hadn't holidayed in three years. The last real family time they had had was just before he came to Hogwarts. After that Father had changed- he had no time for them now.

There was a rustle and out of the trees came a boy he vaguely knew. He was in the year below, Slytherin House, of course. Draco hadn't bothered to learn the names he had no need of. The fact that he had no recollection of him told him immediately the boy was unimportant- no ministry ties or strong blood lineage.

He was wild eyed and straining for breath as he caught sight of Draco.

"Death Eater's!" he gasped.

Immediately Draco's interest pricked, "where?"

The boy gestured behind his shoulder, "Back. They've got Muggles. Playing with them. Like puppets." he was obviously disturbed, his face had a slight tinge to it.

Draco pushed him aside and headed eagerly in the direction the boy had come from leaving him disorientated and alone in the woods.

The throngs of people were pushing against him trying to pick him up in the fast paced tide of wizards hastening to get away. He fought against it savagely- what did he have to fear? He was a Malfoy. Besides, he wanted to show his face, he wanted to stand next to a Death Eater and laugh along with them. He wanted to point his wand at a Muggle and watch them dance before him. He imagined his father's booming laugh at the skill of his son and his chest swelled at the thought.

Grumbling he fought his way out of the mass of bodies and stumbled a little out onto the campsite. His eyes set on something that made him smile sickly.

"Granger, they're after Muggles. D'you want to be showing off your knickers in mid-air? Because if you do, hang around…they're moving this way, and it would give us all a laugh."

"Hermione's a witch." Harry Potter glared at him.

He made him sick. The vanity that radiated off him. Cocky. A Halloween reject- Frankenstein's pal with the scar to prove it. Potter, the prodigal son.

Weasley bristled too at his words but didn't venture his own. He was, afterall, just Potter's plaything.

There were a number of things wrong with the Weasleys. The fact that they were poor, that they fawned over muggles, that they persisted in muddying the bloodline. They bred like rabbits, his father had always said, vermin. Rabbits to match their carrot tops. And of course there was only one action to take with vermin- extinction.

As for Hermione Granger… well she was a Mudblood. There was nothing more to add. It said it all.

"Have it your way, Potter. If you think they can't spot a Mudblood, stay where you are."

* * *

A few hours later Draco sidled silently, like an ungracious cat, back into the sheltered compound at the entrance to the main arena. It was dark. The screaming had stopped an hour or so ago. The spectacle itself of the muggle suspended in mid-air was amusing but uninteresting. He'd felt rather disgusted; touching muggles, even with the end of a wand was somewhat dirty. Muggles bored him anyway- little more than beasts. Although the Dark Mark in the sky had been a welcome distraction. He wished he could have done it.

The corridor was empty which suited Draco well; he had never been a people person. Suddenly from beyond the closed door to his right he heard an irate voice then a sharp scream of pain as a flash of light crept out from the crook in the door. He shouted out automatically causing the low mumblings to stop immediately.

The door flew open. Lucius Malfoy flung his head out and looked shocked to see his son standing uncertainly in the hallway.

"Draco, what on earth are you doing sneaking around?" Lucius snapped.

"I err, thought I heard something." he stammered confused.

"Heard what? Your mother and I were just discussing money and other matters. You shouldn't disturb us- you know how we have built up a legacy for yourself, you could have been anyone, prying into our private business" he stared in disapproval at his son. "Luckily we were through. Now, have you everything you came with? You've not left anything? It is time for us to leave, certain events have meant we should leave for home rather than stay in such a place for the night. I feel we are not welcome here due to past… accusations."

Draco nodded demurely as his father swept past him and down the corridor. He looked into the room to see his mother. Caught unawares she was arranging her eye makeup- her eyeliner had streaked down her face and her eyes were red. When she saw him looking she smiled apologetically.

"Stubbed my toe on the fireplace, silly thing that I am, and my eyes started watering because of the pain. Did you hear me shout? Dear me. Darling, run along and catch up your father, I won't be a minute."

He did as she asked but not before noticing the angry red welts on her neck. They were faint but definitely there, in the shape of fingers but longer and thinner than a human's- some unknown hand. Strangle marks.

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Right please review, please. :)


	2. Chapter 2

Okay so here's chapter 2 :) Thanks to everybody that read it, still no reviews :(

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Chapter 2**

Narcissa leant over to kiss her son on his forehead. Draco squirmed. He loved his mother dearly but he had appearances to keep up.

The marks on her neck had faded a little but they were there, unmistakable. He had caught a glimpse this morning as he'd brought the Daily Prophet to her room. Now, standing poker straight with the years of proud Black heritage within her blood, a silk scarf draped over her neck masked the fiery fingers that had etched into her pale skin. It seemed that Narcissa, too, had appearances to keep up.

Lucius was quiet, his mind engaged elsewhere but at the sight of his son standing in an air of rejection at the Kings Cross Platform 9 ¾, he forced himself to smile. It was something of a relief for both he and his wife to send Draco off to Hogwarts each year. It meant that for the next three and half months the façade needed no longer to be kept up. Within closed doors at least. Outside the home the façade continued strong as ever, if not stronger amid all these rumours. They were quiet of course, fleeting rumours that came and went as swiftly as the wind. Patchy- no one seemed to be able to offer anything concrete. Snippets of conversation stolen by the ear of an eavesdropper or drunken secrets spilled after one too many fire whisky's. But he heard them all, and each one disturbed him a little further.

"Behave yourself Draco, it would not do for me to hear of you misbehaving. Focus on your school work and stay away from other distractions."

Narcissi leant forward and whispered excitedly, "there's to be plenty of those this year, my dear! Your father and the other School Governors' have been told that-" she broke off and winked, "well, you'll find out soon enough."

A mass of red heads flashed passed them; Lucius' lip visibly curled. "Weasley" he said in curt greeting.

Arthur Weasley turned his head in surprise and nodded back politely "Lucius, Narcissa, well I hope?"

"As well as ever. There is a large pile of papers on your desk I asked for you to look over a week ago, Arthur, I trust they're done?" he enquired.

Arthur Weasley looked sheepish, "Its been non stop these past few weeks, Lucius, I did glance over them but-".

"You are not paid to 'glance' Arthur, but to perform your job. See to it."

Weasley thought to reply but stopped himself and merely hurried off to his waiting wife who was shooting daggers at the Malfoy's. As soon as he reached her she launched into a fast muttering that they could not hear but was obviously directed at them.

"Pity really, one of the oldest pure blood families and that's what they have to offer. Bad breeding." Narcissa remarked. The train whistled and she gasped shooing Draco onto the train. "Quick, you'll miss it! I'll write- you too! Not like last year where I hardly heard from you. Off you go, remember what your father told you. Work hard!"

He returned her kiss briskly and hurried to the line stepping onto the Scarlet engine with its windows packed with grinning kid's faces. First years held back sobs clutching their luggage as if it were their only lifeline or else demonstrating their pitifully basic wand skills by setting each other's cats on fire by accident.

Draco dragged his luggage into the nearest Slytherin occupied compartment and was immediately made room for by two third year students. He glared at them until they got the message and hurriedly grabbed their own trunks to find another compartment.

He sank back into the seat. Crabbe and Goyle wouldn't be long, they always managed to find him more was the pity.

He stared out of the window searching for his parents. He spotted them by the exit, leaving already. Lucius led the way with Narcissa following anxiously. She looked back one last time and blew him a kiss, her eyes already dulled.

* * *

The whole school along with the students of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons were seated in the Great Hall. Ever since the contest had been announced it was all that filled the minds of every student. Almost all that were old enough had volunteered their name and many that were not had tried. And failed. Now they were waiting with anticipation for the names of the champions to be called.

"I'm gnna do it." Crabbe said slowly with much thought.

Draco raised an eyebrow along with his desert spoon, "Do what, pray?".

"That try whizz thingy."

"Tri-wizard? You've entered the Tri-wizard Tournament have you?"

"Yer that's it. A tor- na- munt"

"Ooh, yeah? I'll vote for you!" Goyle clapped him on the back in what he clearly thought was a manly but supportive gesture. It merely made him look like a monkey.

"Goyle, you misunderstand, it is not a popularity contest. They will not all dress up in swimsuits and parade about."

He was drawn away from the puzzled expression on Goyle's face by Professor Dumbledore. The time to draw the champions had arrived.

The hall was deathly silent, every eye fixed intently upon the Goblet of Fire. The students of the three schools brought together in the common held mild disdain of the other schools.

Those who had entered had crept to the edge of their seats in anxious anticipation, those who had not crossed their fingers for their friends or shot encouraging glances as if they alone somehow knew who would be drawn.

The flames on the Goblet of Fire changed their colours and spurted forth a slip of paper. Dumbledore caught it on its downward spiral, holding it close to his spectacled eyes he read out the three words inscribed.

"Viktor Krum, Durmstrang."

A cheer went up radiating about the hall. Screaming female fans applauded the loudest; shrieking, attempting to touch him. The Durmstrang champion got to his feet quietly and followed Dumbledore's instructions to proceed into the far room.

Draco watched him with interest. Viktor Krum was one such person that he could concede to speak to. He was obviously talented, famous and therefore wealthy which sat well with Draco's expectations of a 'friend'. Although, a friend was a strange concept. Of course he had no idea about his blood lineage... he made a note to enquire into his pureblood status.

Meanwhile, the flames were changing once again.

"Fleur Delacour, Beauxbatons Academy."

He surveyed her with the same awe as the other males around him. She was stunning and his heart beat a little faster whenever she was close. But he wasn't stupid, he knew it was only because she was part veela. Still, it didn't mean that he wouldn't…if she asked…

He leant over to Goyle. "The Hogwarts champion needs to be Slytherin- else we've no hope at all"

Many of the others around him nodded in agreement. It was well conceded that nobody from another house had the skills to triumph within the tournament. Slytherin were intelligent and cunning- something that was essential to win. The others were weak, they stood no chance against the perils of the Triwizard Tournament.

"Cedric Diggory, Hogwarts."

Draco sighed resignedly and got up to leave. He nodded goodnight to Crabbe and Goyle and set off along the tables heading for the exit. A disturbance behind him caused him to turn in time to see the flames of the Goblet of Fire change once more. He stared open mouthed as the words reached his ear.

"Harry Potter."

"What?" he hissed.

The vain creep stood up uncertainly, the candle light illuminating his form like a halo. Fitting. And no one knew how to react.

Draco's head spun. Always Potter. Always! He stormed out of the Great Hall and half ran down the corridors leading to the dungeons and the Slytherin common room.

"Draco! Wait up!" Pansy Parkinson called from behind him as she struggled to keep up with his agitated gait.

"Not now!" he snapped at her clearing the corner and doubling his speed. He had no wish to speak to anyone.

He reached the common room entrance, snarled the password and escaped into the sanctuary of the empty room beyond. From there he continued, almost sprinting to his own dormitory to collapse sprawled out on his bed.

His head spun. Potter got to him. Him, more than anyone, tore at his guts, made him angrier than anything else ever had the capacity to. It was everything about him. His vanity- well, Draco could cope with that, he did, after all, have a plentiful supply of vanity himself. But it was the fact that he was hero boy. Potter could not put a foot wrong in the eyes of Dumbledore. Ever since that day in First Year, when Potter had snubbed him, favoured Weasley's company over his own, Draco had formed an intense hatred of him.

And now he was champion. He was underage and he was not allowed, but nevertheless, somehow, he was champion.

Draco's eyes strayed to the foot of the bed. They always did when he was angry. It was his own therapy.

Crouching down on his hands and knees he delved under the bed searching until his fingers closed around a plastic box and drew it out.

It was a box around 20cmx30cmx20cm and was made of clear Perspex. The lid had a small hatch which could be opened to allow a hand to fish inside. Lining the bottom was a layer of moss and moist leaves with a small basin filled with water. Nestled among the greenery were half a dozen various small garden toads collected from around the Malfoy's Manor grounds. He had hidden it among his robes that sat in the bottom of his trunk. It was his own little aid to peace.

At the sight of Draco each one became irate and jostled with each other searching for a place to hide.

He placed his hand inside and drew out the fattest toad, closing the lid with the other hand so the rest did not escape. He sat him down within a square made from four heavy potions books. The toad was fairly distraught with its new habitat and tried in vain to escape its prison, all the while croaking loudly.

Breathing deeply Draco raised his wand to point towards the toad. He whispered and a shot of red light hit the toad squarely in its chest. It squealed and flailed its legs. He paused and let the toad regain its composure then hit it again with another spell. Its eyes rolled in its head and its body spasmed.

Draco stopped. He held out his palm to the toad and held it softly. He cooed to it, calming it. He stroked its back gently.

He didn't like doing it but it was the only way he knew. It helped him, it soothed him to exert his anger methodically. And now he was calm. The anger was gone. He was grateful to his little friends. To him it was not cruel. A little pain, yes, but it was fleeting and he released them didn't he?

Opening the window he let it hop out to freedom. He sighed and replaced the box under his bed. Draco undressed, folding his clothes and placing them neatly on the chair by his bed. Then drew back the covers and lay down staring up at the ceiling. He stared upwards for some time-just thinking. Until he leant across and blew out the candle.

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Okay so can you please review it, please? thanks a lot :)


	3. Chapter 3

Hey, so I'm sorry it's late, was busy with college, well here it is!...

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**Chapter 3**

The morning was bright but had a crisp autumn air. Reluctantly, Draco dressed, throwing on two pairs of socks to combat the November chills. It had been a week since Potter had been named as a fourth champion and the school was abuzz with talk of him. Draco was just praying it was the perfect opportunity for the golden boy to snuff it. Maybe they could set a dragon on him. It would be so easy.

He should have been expelled, of course. He put his name into the Goblet, he disobeyed the rules, and therefore he should be out. But then it was Potter and the normal rules did not apply, he added bitterly.

The House Elves in the kitchen had obviously been hard at work as along with the usual offerings of toast, bacon and eggs etc. there was also other delicacies on the table as a nod to the foreign students. No one was altogether sure that frog's legs really went with orange juice and porridge.

He flicked away the day's Daily Prophet at the sight of Potter's face blinking awkwardly from the front page. There was another letter from his mother. She had taken to writing almost daily lately. Never anything of note, more of an opportunity just to babble. He did worry about her, stuck in that mansion alone; she needed to get out more.

He dashed off a quick reply to her mainly complaining about Potter, asking her to speak again to his father and demand he be expelled or at least for the names to be drawn again this time offering places to younger students. He wanted the opportunity to rub Potter's face in the dirt; show to everyone that he was nothing special.

Caught out he checked the time on his watch to see to his horror that he was late. Skidding down the corridors he pushed first years out of his path, dodged teachers and ran straight through Nearly Headless Nick. The shrieks of Nick followed Draco as he flung open the potions room door, gasping for breath.

The very same crime committed by anyone other than a Malfoy could expect, at the least, a twenty minute barrage of abuse complete with 3 days detention scrubbing the potions cauldrons. Draco merely received a dirty look and a quiet hiss of breath that escaped through Snape's clenched teeth.

As slow as he dared, Draco sidled with his usual arrogant air over to his potions bench. Already there, listening intently was his potions partner for that year, Pansy Parkinson. She smiled shyly at him.

As Snape continued with his lecture on how to concoct the perfect hair growth potion, a sheet of parchment was pushed across the desk.

'_You're late.'_

"No shit Sherlock" he thought and turned his head away from her pointedly.

The parchment was taken away and another pushed back in its place. This was three quarters covered with the same flowing writing of Pansy Parkinson.

'_Notes.'_

He glanced at them but continued to ignore her.

'_Fine. Be a dick. Next time I won't bother, you'll fail and your head won't be as far up your own arse.'_

He gulped; shocked at the hostile language from someone who had always been respectful to him. An evil cow to everyone else, yes, but to him she had always been mild mannered.

'_Thanks.'_

'_For what?'_

'_The notes'_

'_And?'_

'_And what?'_

'_You are…'_

He shot a glare at her, no one made a Malfoy say that word. She deliberately slowly pulled the notes away.

'_Ok ok! I'm sorry.'_

The parchment stopped on its journey and she settled back into her seat with a smug smile spread across her features. He observed her quietly. She was slim but her cheeks were soft and plump earning her the description of being pug faced. Her hair was dark and fell down to her shoulders. Her character, what little he knew of her, was similar to his- dominant and commanding. Pure blood he presumed, due to her obvious dislike of mud bloods, especially Granger.

Last year she had fawned a little over him after that harrowing episode with the oaf Hagrid and his beast. He simmered a little as he recalled that the animal had escaped the very day it was due to be executed. Saying this, however, he did not believe he was incredibly close to her. They engaged in conversation every now and then but, again, they were acquaintances; Draco did not develop relationships of any kind.

He made a point to learn more.

* * *

As he made his way up to the owlery afterwards his mind was still full of thoughts of Pansy. Throughout the lesson she had been friendly but a little shy. Offering her help when he spilled the buckwheat powder. Once, as she reached across the bench to take the stirrer, her hand had accidentally brushed against his. Her face was immediately enveloped in a scarlet blush which left him bemused and a little surprised. He didn't have much experience with girls and had no idea if this is what they all did on a regular basis or whether she just had a condition.

He jotted a quick enquiry into the Parkinson family onto the bottom of his letter to his mother. Sealed it and gave it to a ready bird who gave him a withering look at being forced out into the chill. He ignored its disgust and sent it on its way wishing he could have that freedom. It wasn't that he hated Hogwarts, he simply had no feelings for it all. It held nothing for him. No friends, no excitement, no interest. But then neither did home. It was as if he had his own tiny world that consisted of just himself and he flitted from one state to another never really experiencing anything, never feeling anything. It didn't bother him, he insisted to himself as he always had. Only now his insistences did not ring as true as they once did. He was struggling to believe himself.

* * *

Dinner was the usual affair. Crabbe and Goyle had found a skeleton skull left over from Halloween night and were happily giggling away, playing volleyball with it across a line of shrieking first years more disturbed than anything at the fact that the head was screaming back at them.

Draco ate his meal alone not wishing to engage in the frivolities of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. His eyes kept straying to the back of a head at the other end of the Great Hall. Pansy had hauled back her hair into a messy bun, tendrils of hair tickled her flushed neck. It made him feel odd to see her. She had been nice to him. This surprised Draco. He couldn't remember the last time someone had been genuinely kind to him. Why?

He didn't understand girls, this was the problem. Well, he didn't honestly understand human beings really. Happiness, kindness, charity- all strange concepts, all beneath him. So how was he to understand, properly understand, a girl's actions?

Why had she written those notes for him? She didn't have to. He could have easily forced another student to hand them over. Neville Longbottom was in his class for heavens sake- Draco only had to walk by him and he was offered the entire contents of Longbottom's satchel. And the way she had talked to him! How dare she? And yet… it was oddly compelling.

He glanced to his right to a Slytherin in the top year. He too was dining alone; picking at his sponge pudding preoccupied. A girl with long chestnut hair that sat in curls round her porcelain face approached him and jabbed him sharply in the shoulder. He turned around startled to be confronted by her as she spat out a menacing hiss. She pointed forcefully across the Hall to another stunningly pretty girl sat at the Gryffindor table and stood with her hands upon her hips.

The boy looked confused from one girl to another before a panicked expression rose with the understanding to his eyes. Hurriedly he stood and held the brunette's face in his hands. He whispered a few soothing words but she turned her head. He then kissed her cheek lightly as she visibly melted. Within less than a minute a grin was plastered to her face. She pouted sorry and playfully kissed him on the cheek as he surreptitiously felt her bottom, then she left with a saucy wink.

Relieved the guy quickly checked the girl across the Hall, who happily had missed the whole episode. As she looked up he smiled and blew her a kiss which made her blush a heady red and giggle in the way only attractive girls knew. Obviously pleased with himself he sank back down onto his seat and picked away at his pudding with new vigour.

Draco balanced on the edge of his chair unsure what to do. A quick glance back over to Pansy made up his mind and he slid across the bench.

The guy looked up surprised, "Ey up mate." his Yorkshire accent broke through.

Draco's arrogance immediately kicked him so giving him a confident air that didn't at all match his inner feelings. "Good with the ladies you."

That got a cheeky grin. "Yeah, but keep it quiet kid, me lass don't know about her. And that one don't know about me other lass. Or me other one."

"Four?"

"Yeah, and plenty more eager too, but I gotta watch it, ain't worth the hassle if they cotton on."

"Don't they ever meet?"

"Sure they do! All the time! Only the trick is to convince them not to say owt. See's, you tell them that your love is so special, so perfect it has to stay secret. And most of them believe you. Do anything for a bit of romance they will. And I mean anything." he added with a wink.

"She seemed to have a pretty good idea what was going on." Malfoy pointed out, referring to the girl with the doll like features.

"Carly? Yeah." he looked a little sheepish and glanced round anxiously as if expecting her to jump out on him brandishing another smeared lipstick girl. "Someone mentioned seeing me with Lucinda. Managed to convince her it was homework club, though, so its all good. But if I find the creep who ratted…" he peered suspiciously at Draco, suddenly aware that he had spilled all his love god secrets. "Ere, what do you actually want kid?"

Draco wondered whether this was such a good idea. "Girls," he explained awkwardly, "I don't… get them".

Immediately his face relaxed and he chuckled. "Well you've come to the right place mate, any problems you got with the birds, you come to me." he caught sight of the time and groaned. "Crap, I gotta go pal, McGonagall has me booked for a detention. Told you the ladies love me. Name's Zachary Cain, kid, come find me in the common room some time tomorrow? Then we can chat if you like."

Draco nodded and paused; "I'm Timothy Hunter" he lied.

Zachary cocked an eyebrow disbelievingly. "I know who you are kid. Don't worry though, I ain't about to tell the world a Malfoy has feelings."

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So please, review please, it gives me more confidence to write more!


	4. Chapter 4

Okay so here is chapter four, please read and review as normal thank you

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**Chapter 4**

Short sharp gasps of fear echoed loudly. The woman checked behind her fearfully as she scurried across the marble floor. Just a few metres behind her the man approached, his footfalls heavy; pace steady. He advanced briskly; her walk increased to a run, to a sprint but he remained at his own purposeful stride. He knew she had nowhere to run.

She span to face him as her back touched the cold stone of the walls. Her chest expanded and fell so quick as she sent herself into a frenzy. Her eyes wild and manic.

Draco watched her open mouthed, he made to start forward, to shelter her from the approaching tyrant but found his body would not oblige. His hands would not move, his mouth would not open, he was powerless to help or to turn…

The man had reached her- his arm outstretched, wand pointing to straight at her heart. She sobbed and pleaded; falling to her knees her hands reaching for his robes, clutching at them. Begging she wept for herself and the others.

The man merely laughed cruelly, eyes dancing with mirth at the pitiful wreck at his feet. He flicked his wand hand slightly and the girl's spine twisted with an almighty wrench. Her mouth opened in horror for screams to erupt. Long, horrendous shrieks of torment.

The man shook his head fiercely directing his wand upwards to her throat. Immediately the noise cut out. Her eyes bulged in her head as her tongue strained at its roots- all the while Draco watching. His stomach turned, vomit rose up his throat- still powerless to act, it spurted out of his mouth to dribble down his chin in a foul stinking mess.

The woman was white as a sheet- oxygen cut off by the crushed windpipe, quickly losing consciousness. Her eyelids flickered as one tiny cry escaped her blue lips. The man chuckled. He moved forward so he stood over the crumpled form. Bending down, he pursed his lips to kiss her still warm forehead. Then he turned and strode away with that same calculated steady pace that had chased her to her doom.

Silent tears streaked down Draco's cheeks as he watched his father disappear into the gloom leaving his lifeless wife to the shadows.

Draco awoke with a start, his bedcovers drenched in sweat. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. He had dreamt, but what it had involved he couldn't remember, it sat just on the edge of his mind. After a few minutes of struggling and failing to grasp at it he gave up. He dressed quickly ignoring the grunts from Crabbe and Goyle as they struggled to pull on their socks.

The common room was deathly silent, the soft green gloom illuminated the soft armchairs littered with discarded parchment which would be hurriedly picked back up and resumed two minutes before the looming Transformation essay deadline.

He headed down to the Great Hall, ignoring the awe struck second years anxious to fan the flames of his ego some more, and snatched up a slice of toast.

As he reached for the jam his owl swooped low and dropped a letter into the pan of hot porridge. It shot a sideways smug look back at Draco- pay back for the cold flight. Malfoy cursed and threw the crust of his bread at the retreating bird which dodged the flying toast and wheeled round in the direction of the owlery. Muttering Draco attempted to scrape the lumpy oats off the Malfoy seal.

The letter was from his mother. It was the usual reply. She waved off his disgust of Potter simply reassuring him that Harry had a wonderfully high chance of death and that if there was a funeral it would be likely that Draco would receive a day off- so all's well that ends well.

It was the last line of the large paragraph that caught Draco's attention- it concerned Pansy. Somewhat thrilled that her baby had finally enquired after a female, no matter how briefly, Narcissa had delved into the deepest family heritage books she could find as well as questioning her high society friends if they knew of the Parkinson's. The resulting information was favourable. Pansy had an elder brother- Raymond who had left a few years earlier and now worked with Magical Creatures in Bulgaria. Her father owned a successful business dealing a multitude of magical artefacts. There was little information on the mother other than her name was Juliet.

Pure blood.

Lucius, it seemed, was greatly intrigued by the Parkinson's. He chipped in, writing:

_Draco, it would do you well to become closer to this girl-her father could be a great asset to me. Such things that are of interest to myself are hard to come by- perhaps this Parkinson man could afford to me information as to where to purchase or dispose of such things? Purely business of course Draco. Simply; you would do worse to include this Pansy within your group of friends. _

_Your father._

Malfoy's face erupted into a grin from ear to ear. It had been such a long time since his father had so much as nodded to him let alone encouraged something important within his son's life. It was only a pity it was Saturday. Pansy would have to wait.

* * *

The common room door swung closed as more students filtered out into the last of the sunshine they were likely to get that year. The numbers in the room had dwindled to five which suited Draco well. He had been seated in the chair nearest the roaring fire for a good two hours. He set down his quill for the evening and let the fire cast its warm glow upon his face turning it from pale almost white to a flushed rosy red.

The door opened again and a familiar face sauntered through. Nodding his greeting he came over and pulled up a chair close to Malfoy's.

"Nice spot." Zach smiled approvingly.

"How was detention?" Draco asked, politeness laboured on every word.

Zach brushed it off. "Fine. Sorry I had to go- I was genuinely interested. Draco Malfoy. Never thought you were capable of having problems."

A frown passed over his forehead. "You seem to have a ready formed opinion of me. I have a reputation to keep up you know…"

The penny dropped. "Listen kid, I don't kiss and tell. And that includes private conversations. I offered you my help 'cause I'm intrigued. Take it or refuse it but I wouldn't breathe a word."

Draco hesitated. He didn't like showing weakness. But there was something genuine in Zach's eyes that made him shrug off his doubts.

Anyway, he reasoned, he was sure the name Cain was employed within the Ministry. If he started creating trouble is would be easy to have his father add another to the redundancy list.

"Ok. I suppose I can trust you."

"Good" he leant back in his armchair, placing his legs on the footstool and his hands behind his head. "So tell me about this lucky lady?"

Draco leant forward in his chair, the excitement he seemed to feel whenever he spoke of her nowadays crept into his voice.

"She's pure blood," he began with the most important detail. "And I'm not sure really… she's different. I mean she spoke to me like I was a human being. Well, maybe not even that, she spoke to me as if I were dirt at one point. But I liked that. It was different."

Zach nodded wisely. "She insulted you? That's good kid. If a lass insults you it generally means she fancies you, hell, it often means she loves you. Anything else? Did she giggle? Flutter her eyelashes like she was trying to dislodge a fly- no idea why they reckon that's attractive."

"Her hand brushed against mine at one point. So she blushed like mad."

"Yeah, I reckon you're in there. However, signals are all very well, but is she attractive?"

He struggled somewhat with the concept of attractive. He never really studied human beings as a whole let alone females. What constituted as attractive? "Yes, I suppose. I mean she's a bit pug faced but it's sort of pretty in a way- you know? And she has nice hair."

"Boobs? Big?"

Draco considered the question. "I haven't really looked. Should I?"

"Definitely. If they're a nice handful I'd say go for it mate."

Malfoy nodded slightly surprised at himself for having an actual conversation with another person without feeling like he had to belittle them or compensate in some way.

"And then?"

"After you've ogled her tits? Talk to her. It's generally what's expected. You have to flatter her. Make her smile. First off you see her in class, nice and casual, make polite conversation. Then, when she's looking the other way you need to take her quill, or her parchment, and hide it. After the lesson you say goodbye etc. and let her leave. Now wait exactly three minutes. You run after her, explain that she left her quill and then make a cheeky remark. This gets a laugh. You then offer to take her to Hogsmeade after lessons. She agrees because you're a charming gent and you have the rest of the day to obsess over not making a fool of yourself.

You need to follow this order; this order is everything you need. Got it?"

Taken aback Draco agreed and resisted the urge to write it all down thinking this would look more than a trifle pathetic and gave his thanks. He considered Zach for a moment. "Why are you so different? You're not quite the typical Slytherin."

He grinned, his signature cocky grin and held up his hands. "Guess that's 'cause I'm not really a Slytherin. The Sorting Hat didn't think so. When I shoved it on it took twenty minutes in deciding. Wanted to put me in Hufflepuff. Told me I was as loyal as a dog. But my family are hardcore Slytherin's through and through. For centuries they've been devoted to the Dark Arts, idolised The Dark Lord, my mum would have disowned me if she heard her only son ended up in some give-us-a-hug House. So I argued with the Hat for ages, every argument it found I challenged. When it had exhausted all its objections I turned it around and pointed out my counter arguments. It had to admit I was indeed cunning- more so than any other student as no one had attempted to challenge it and won before. Therefore I was Slytherin. It's pointless though- I'll be happy to get out of here, why live your life pretending to be something you're not?" he stretched, the conversation obviously over. "Anyway mate, good luck with the girl yeah? Anytime you want to chat… you're ok you are. For a Malfoy at least."

Draco stayed in his chair as Zach left pondering his words; why live your life pretending to be something you're not?

* * *

Hey, i apologise profusely but due to college, exmas and general life-ness, my posts will become a little further between. I'll aim for about once a fortnight but if you get impatient feel free to give me a little nudge and I'll try my best. Thanks to everyone who follows and reviews.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay I firstly apologise for the delay in posting this chapter, I've been busy with college and well my life so, thanks for your patience. and Secondly I humbly thank anyone who's already reviewed my story, thanks so much, :)

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* * *

Chapter 5**

Draco bid his time. Throughout the lesson he spoke little. Whereas before he would not have hesitated to speak whatever passed his thoughts, now he was reluctant. For the first time he actually cared if someone liked him. He found this rather worrying.

"Pansy!"

She turned at the corner to look back at him puzzled.

"Quill!" he waved it in the air proudly.

She scrunched up her face. "That's yours."

He looked up and cursed, then fumbled in his pocket trying to find the one he'd snuck in there earlier. "One minute!" he called.

Pansy groaned and told her friend to go on. She trudged back along to the corridor to meet him.

"Quill!" he brandished it proudly in her face. She cocked an eyebrow but took it and made to leave. "Errrm, you've got nice hair."

"You what?"

"I don't know," he admitted downcast.

She checked her watch impatiently. "Look, do you want to go for a drink?" she said with a sigh.

"Oh!"

There was an awkward pause as he fumbled with her thoughts meanwhile, she laughed, "I'll pick you outside the castle after your last lesson today? You can take me somewhere nice?"

He nodded dumbfounded as she walked off feeling that things hadn't quite happened in the way Zach had described. Feeling de-masculinised he compensated and hexed the nearest small child. The sight of a first year with blue goo spurting from their nose cheered him up nicely.

Tendrils of breath snaked their way up into the frosty air heading for the pinpricks of stars in the night sky. He stared up at them and allowed himself a little chuckle. Traditionally not one to question his own good fortune- he was privileged and that was the way the world was- even Draco felt a little amazed at the current situation. And more than a little apprehensive.

Truth be told he wasn't as self assured as he insisted. The status helped him of course but what was status in the world of romance? Status wouldn't let him know when was the right time to go in for a kiss.

_"Oh shit,"_ he thought, "_am I supposed to kiss her? When? At the beginning? At the end? And how? A peck? An air kiss like the Ministry elites when they meet mother? Or do I just thrust my tongue down her throat? How on earth do I start?"_

He jiggled about a little contemplating everything he had ever known about the world of womanhood then made a strangled noise as, utterly horrified, as he saw a shape descend the steps outside the entrance hall.

_Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod_

"Hey" Pansy smiled sweetly.

"Good evening." he forced back politely gritting his teeth to deal with the mounting panic.

"Where about are you taking me then?" she asked; leading the way towards Hogsmeade.

"Oh I don't know. Pub? Any one you like. I can get us in easily- all the bartenders know me." he said breezily.

She smiled, impressed but not as much as he had hoped "so you drink do you?"

"Of course, Firewhiskey is Heaven. Father and I often spend the evenings polishing off a bottle or two."

"Isn't that more of a woman's drink?"

He gabbled, "You think? I'm sure they drink it all the time at the ministry parties' father holds-"

She laughed "I'm joking Draco! I've no idea if it's a women's drink or not. My family is tee-total."

"Oh. So you're sticking to pumpkin juice tonight then?"

"Not at all." she said with a wink, "what Daddy doesn't know won't hurt him."

Pansy stepped up the pace as they neared the lights of Hogsmeade, nestled in a cheery haze as a welcome haven from the evening frost. At the first bar they came to, she scuttled over to the window and peeked in.

"Looks quiet- will this one do?" without waiting for a reply she opened the door and stepped inside. Draco had no choice but to follow her.

"Let's move away from the door?" he suggested as casually as he could whilst his head was filled with the many possibilities of what could go wrong. He had suggested the pub in a bid to impress and had pinned his hopes on her being the typical good girl. He very much doubted he'd even get served and the humiliation he would suffer… well there wouldn't be a next date, he was certain of that.

Pansy was happy to seat herself at a cosy table in the corner of the pub out of sight of the rest of the occupants. She smiled up at Draco and requested a bottle of wine.

He hesitated "You sure you don't want pumpkin juice? Butterbeer?" the look on her face gave him his answer.

He reluctantly approached the bar, checking Pansy was facing the other way, he leant on the counter.

The bartender put down the glass he was polishing and moved over to him. He was a large man. Muscles bulged under his shirt. He leant forward expectantly.

"Bottle of your house wine please." Draco deliberately laid out ten Galleons- more than enough to pay for a bottle but would give the bartender a handsome profit.

Equally deliberately, the bartender drew himself up and looked him up and down, "Age?"

He reverted back to what he had always known. "Don't know who I am? I'm Lucius Malfoy's son."

"Oh yeah? And does Mr Malfoy know his kid is trying to buy booze underage?"

Draco sighed and visibly deflated. "Ok, how about you help me out? Fill up an empty bottle with Cranberry juice? Please…?"

The bartender pondered him for a little while but with the addition of another Galleon he grudgingly accepted. He delved under the counter and pulled out an old bottle with cobwebs snaking their way around the base. He gave it a quick wipe with his cloth then placed it under the tap which led to the barrel of Cranberry juice. Here he filled it then took two grubby wine glasses handing them to Draco who took them with a grimace.

Relieved at least seeming to be in possession of alcohol, Draco returned to the table and Pansy who had removed her winter coat and pulled her hair up into a clip. She smiled warmly as he sat down and praised him for acquiring the wine.

He enquired about her day and, happy to have something to talk about, she launched into a step by step account. Whilst she spoke her surveyed her.

She wore a thin woollen navy dress and black tights with sensible winter boots. A silver star hung on a delicate chain around her neck and tiny silver balls glistened in her ears as the firelight caught them. He did think she was pretty. He had wondered- so many called her pug faced but to him the plump cheeks were sweet. She had about half a dozen dimples that broke out whenever she smiled.

His eyes strayed south to two equally plump breasts. They were not massive but they were a good handful… enough to roll between the palms…

He looked up guiltily to see her watching him. Clearing his throat awkwardly he began to ask a question but jumped at the sound of a familiar stern voice. Craning his neck he watched as Professor McGonagall entered the tavern accompanied shortly after by at least twenty other members of staff.

"Party booked for 8pm?" McGonagall enquired at the bar.

He consulted his ledger. "Birthday party isn't it? 2 course meal and after dinner drinks?"

She wilted, "Yes, that's us." A large badge in striking blue and red screamed out every two minutes _"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! BUY ME DRINKS!"_

"Shit!" Draco breathed. Pansy followed his gaze and her face fell as she turned to look at the teachers then back to the half drank bottle of wine. "We have to get out of here!"

He grabbed her hand unthinking and dragged her to the back of the pub and down the passage that led to the toilets. He hauled her into the boy's toilets and the windows at the far end. Tugging sharply he managed to pull them open wide enough to reveal a gap that they could squeeze through.

Grinning apologetically at his date Draco slotted his fingers together to make a step. With one foot resting on his hands Pansy was hoisted into the air.

"Wriggle through and drop down the other side," he grunted, struggling under her weight. With a small scream she managed to do so.

He then took a running jump and struggled to grip the wall with his premium quality dragon hide brogues. He managed to hook his leg over the windowsill and sat abroad it, one leg dangling in the November drizzle, the other in the stinking men's toilets. With one desperate push he threw himself out to freedom, landing with a thump on the ground.

"Are you ok?" Pansy asked in concern, kneeling beside him.

He burst out laughing so relieved at his daredevil experience. She too began to giggle. They lay rolling about in the mud in hysterics for twenty minutes until their shrieks died away.

Panting Draco stared up at the sky- he hadn't laughed that hard in years. Not since father…

Coyly, Pansy wriggled up to him, placing a hand on his cheek. He turned to face her, their lips inches apart- their warm breath mingling.

He leant forward and they kissed. Softly and cautious at first but as they grew more sure the kisses increased until their tongues slipped over each other's lips and tickled the inside of their cheeks.

It continued for a long while, both quietly content with this new experience until, weary they stopped.

"So then" she grinned, placing her head on his warm chest and closing her eyes.

"Yeah" he agreed simply and smiled back, cuddling her close, breathing in her scent. Happy.

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Okay the usual, please, review and tell me what you think of it thank you :)


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, so here it is, sorry about the long delay, please forgive me :)

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**Chapter 6**

_Darling Draco, your last letter brought a twinkle to my eye! As much as you tried to downplay it; I am your mother and know you far better than you think, I saw how much of an impression this Pansy has made on you. You stated that you are "sort of seeing each other; just keeping it casual"… I take it to mean you are courting her? Excellent! Oh darling, I'm so pleased you're happy. You must tell me more. _

_In fact, I must meet her. I would suggest she come to the Manor with you during the holidays? She may have the room in the East Wing? _

_I would like to have a little company. Your father is having a poor time recently and the stress of it all is showing on his face and his manner. I do sometimes think- But nothing to worry you of course!_

_Write to me soon, won't you dear?_

_All my love, your Mother._

Draco wrinkled his nose at the letter. Over the past few weeks the letters from his mother had been getting shorter and shorter. The way she wrote was unusual. She seemed to dance around issues, skirting over them and only when forced did she scribble a flustered sentence that was laced with carefully concealed anxiety. She seemed skittish and overly jovial. This niggled at him. Something was wrong.

He cast his eyes down to the mass of dark hair that rested on his knee. With a fond smile he stroked the flyaway strands that had escaped from the blue band that hoisted them into a messy bun. She raised her head to stare him in the eye.

"What's wrong?"

He shrugged, "just another letter from Mother. She still sounds odd."

"Maybe she's just a little busy? Didn't she say there had been a lot of visitors lately? She's probably just busy making cakes or something." she tried to reassure him forcing a false smile.

"I've a feeling these sort of visitors don't really hold cake in that high a regard…" he broke off and shivered. "Its gotten cold."

Pansy jumped up and walked to the window. Outside fresh snowflakes twirled down from the grey sky to land softly on the ground. Already there were few green patches- it was laying quickly. She turned away to look round the deserted storeroom they had taken as their own. The walls were bare stone and all that covered the cold flagstones was a threadbare blanket Pansy had thought to bring along.

"We need somewhere better," she complained "Filch will be back anytime soon and he'll only throw us out again."

"You know how I hate being with other people though. Besides, I want you all to myself." He held out a hand which she took, then a thought struck her and she pulled on his arm for him to get up.

"I've just had a thought. There's this room on the seventh floor corridor…"

He looked around the little room woefully. "But its nice here. Quiet."

She cocked an eyebrow impatiently. Draco knew well enough that when she wanted something he was wise to succumb. So sighing a little too dramatically he dragged himself to his feet and took her waiting hand.

She checked the corridor was clear outside then led him briskly towards the main staircase. They gained a few glances from various students as they passed. The sight of the couple was still very much alien to many of them- such was Pansy and Draco's secrecy. Groups engaged in chatter hushed as they passed then started with whispered fervour once they were gone from earshot. It wasn't that they were ashamed of their relationship- they were just private. The Malfoy's had always been private; necessity called for it in their circle of… _friends_.

They came to the seventh floor where Pansy surveyed the wall criticaly. She paced about; it taking her a few minutes to remember where exactly the room was.

"I only came here once- Eliza Saltgrass and her friends were chasing me." she explained absently as she considered where the reclusive doorway stood. "They had eggs and stuff and were screaming pug face at me. Just needed somewhere to get away. I was running down this corridor and saw the dead end at the bottom and panicked. I could hear them getting closer and I paced backwards and forward just desperately trying to think if there was a place I could go to then I pressed my back to the wall and felt a handle materialise. I just slipped inside."

"Bitch. How dare she threaten my girl?"

Pansy laughed happily. "I like that you call me your girl. Anyway, its only a small bathroom with an armchair and a fire but it's somewhere warm and secluded. Here, I think. You have a go? I don't know if its just a one time thing- you know? It might not work for me. I think its that point just under that rip in the wallpaper. Just pace back and forth three times thinking of what you need."

He obliged and to his delight a brass knob grew out of the wall followed by a small oak door. He turned the handle and stepped inside.

The room was fairly large and lavishly decorated. Candles bathed the room in a soft red glow. In the centre of the room was a large double bed with silk sheets. Strewn on the floor and over the furniture were silk bra's, thongs, stockings and suspenders. Piled upon the pillows were mountains upon mountains of unopened condoms.

Pansy slipped her head around the stunned Draco to view the room. There was an awkward silence.

Deliberately she closed the door. "Maybe I should try to summon the room?"

He nodded dumbly and stepped back. He allowed her to create a room of a similar size minus the lingerie and condoms. Instead there were sofa's with plump cushions and a furry throw over. An old fashioned kettle whistled on the stove and an old board game was laid on the red rug. It was warm, cosy and romantic.

After having checked no one was in the vicinity they entered the room closing the door shut quietly behind them.

Draco settled himself on the couch pulling her to sit on his lap. He pressed his cheek to hers and sighed with content. She wrapped her legs up so she sat like a ball within his arms. They were quiet for a little while just taking in their moment.

He gently pushed his lips to hers, running his tongue over them tasting her lip-gloss. She melted in his arms immediately. Their kisses got more and more heated. His hand felt its way to her breast gripping it tightly. With a small shudder she responded by swinging her legs around so she straddled his lap and carried on kissing him hard.

He pushed her back to lie on the floor, fingers running over her legs moving up over her thighs. They delved under her skirt until they pressed against the silk of her knickers.

Red cheeked Pansy sat up angrily. "What were you doing?"

Confusion muddled his brain. "But I thought you wanted to!"

She shot him a withering glare and got to her feet. Marching to the corner of the room she straightened her skirt and tried to smooth her hair down.

"Did I say I wanted to?"

Anger rose in his stomach. "Well I never heard you say you didn't want to!"

"You never asked!"

"You're a tease! That's all you are! How many other people have you done this to? Led them on and then shot them down again?"

"What are you calling me Draco? A slag?" she lowered her voice hurt "You just think I'm a slag?"

The anger subsided from its simmering. "No."

He watched her, stood in the corner hurt at his words and felt terrible. "No darling, of course I don't. I'm sorry."

She allowed him to wrap his arms round her. "Draco- I know you want to. I sort of want to. Just… I'm not ready. What you're asking me is a big thing. I have to be sure."

"I understand." he kissed her forehead lightly. "Please, I don't ever want to make you do something you don't want to."

The room was still for a while. Eventually they returned to the sofa and started off a new game of scrabble. Giggling as they made blatantly made up words and tried to pass them off as exotic plant names. Then they laid back and dozed for a while in the warmth.

Pansy awoke to see Draco staring out blankly at the wall deep in thought. His eyes were downcast and melancholy.

"What are you thinking about?"

He jumped at the sound of her voice. "Just… Mother."

"Passion killer."

He sighed. "Don't. I worry about her."

She laid her hand on his arm. "It'll be ok. You see her soon. A week or so. Draco- is there anything you want to talk about? I mean, is there anything wrong?"

He shook his head violently. "No, no, I'm just being stupid. It that time of the year where families are altogether that's all. I'll be sick to death of her after just one day back at home, mark my words." he paused then suddenly remembered her words. "Oh, would you want to come by the way?"

She laughed. "I'm invited to the Malfoy Manor? Really? I guess I'll have to buy something expensive to wear! I'd love to Draco."

"Good"" Draco phrased his next words carefully. "Panse…I know what you said but…when are we going to… you know?"

She looked up at him and grimaced. "Draco, it hasn't even been a month yet. We've been over this- as much as I like you I'm just not ready."

He sighed reluctantly. "Yeah ok. You know its just… I'm a boy. It's all we really think about."

She cupped his chin in her hands tenderly. " It'll happen. Just not yet."

"So in the meantime what do I do?" he shifted his weight in discomfort.

She shrugged and looked down innocently. "Carry out a controlled explosion?"

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So please review it, I hardly get any reviews so it will be a nice change :)


	7. Chapter 7

Okay so here is Chapter seven, hope you enjoy it.

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Chapter Seven**

It was a full moon. Its ghostly luminescence shone brightly for there were no clouds to sway the path of light. The castle was still. It loomed as a black abyss, its outline highlighted by the silver in the sky. Towards the east tower a tiny chink of light glowed.

The wind rattled the window of Professor Moody's office. He spun with fright, wand raised to fight the enemy. As recognition fell a relieved sigh escaped his dry lips and he returned his wand to its rest in the pocket of his robes.

His eyes flickered across that morning's copy of the Daily Prophet reading the childish scribbling of Elphiba Hale but a nagging need drew him from the mundane article on pondweed to the picture on the front page.

An awkward face blinked up at him as the figure attempted to inch behind the other champions. The glare from the golden egg illuminated the small scar etched into its forehead.

The ageing man trailed his finger over the scar softly, musing the face under his fingertips. He raised his palm up to rest on the nail tip then purposefully dragged its rough edge down slitting Harry Potter from head to foot.

He tossed the paper to the flames of the fireplace. As the papers crumpled, consumed by the fire, they cast a glow over the professor.

Its shadow was not quite right, an inky guise that did not quite match… Moody took a swig from his hipflask.

The shadow became right.

Away at the other side of the castle the Slytherin dormitory nursed a frantic Draco Malfoy as he tossed and turned under his sheets- the nightmare clawing at his mind.

He woke with a cry shooting up, panting heavily, his eyes wild. The boy felt a pressure on his arm, and looked down to see a plump hand resting on his. Pansy laid next to him, her body curled against his.

She hushed him. "Easy darling."

Confused he rubbed his eyes. "What are you doing in my bed?"

"I thought you needed me." She explained. "I was down in the common room, I realised I'd left my Potions work there and the house elves seem to think anything that isn't nailed down is litter lately, so I went to go get it. Draco, Crabbe was there… he said you were screaming in your sleep."

Draco gave a start. "He said what?"

"It's ok, there was only me there" she soothed "I told him it was the Bloody Baron and that he liked sleeping under people's beds. Also told him he liked to try to strangle kids in the night. He's locked himself in the toilets refusing to move until its safe. Didn't occur to him that ghosts don't really have a problem with locks. So I came up here. I cast a silence spell as well… thought it best."

He smiled at her grateful and leant back down onto his pillow.

"So?" there was a pause. "Draco, you were screaming in your sleep…"

"Nightmare."

"You were saying… Draco you said 'stop hurting her Dad.'"

He smiled brightly. "Really? I swear I was dreaming about Quidditch."

"Draco…"

He turned over so he stared straight into her hazel eyes. They were filled with concern. "It was a dream Panse, what are you worrying about a dream for?"

She paused as if to carry on but instead just nodded and gave a small smile. Cocking her head she laid it across his chest and closed her eyes.

Three more times, she was awoken by Draco's cries, each time a little louder, each time a little more manic. She just stroked his cheek until he was calm once more.

They didn't discuss it.

* * *

"Draco. I want to see my mother."

He looked into the solemn eyes of the girl he loved. And nodded. It was the Saturday before Christmas Day and she was curled in his arms.

"You're sure? Well, its not like we have anything to stay here for- we'll go today. We can catch a train to Cumbria and be there in a few hours. Maybe make a day of it?"

She smiled gratefully. "You'd do that for me?"

"I love you Panse, of course I would."

"I love you too, I truly do," she smiled up at him cautiously "but… there are a few things you don't know. That no one knows."

* * *

They stood hand in hand staring silently at the busy playground. A middle aged woman, tall with jet black hair set down her small child. It was wrapped so tightly in mounds of scarves, mittens and woollen coats that its rosy cheeks could only just be seen emerging from under its knitted hat; his eyes tiny pin pricks in the red of his flushed face. The pink and yellow bobble perched on top of the hat was the only thing that distinguished it from the other half a dozen children that toddled about the park arms outstretched due to the multitude of Christmas jumper layers.

Pansy's grip tightened around his hand. "That's her."

The woman smiled as she pushed her child forward and rose up from her crouch. She manoeuvred the laden buggy over to the nearby wooden bench where she sat absentmindedly, her eyes trained on her son.

Set into the wood was a plaque commemorating the dead, its loving message inscribed into the metal read; 'Nora, Rest In Peace my angel, with love forever, your Jim'. Graffiti had been sprayed over it just days after it had been put up. The local youths and the green and yellow of their cans had ripped through the message shattering its tender love. Now it stood like much around the Estate, sad and dejected. Devoid and empty of meaning.

"I come here every year. Dad doesn't know I come." she gave a bitter laugh "I don't think it would occur to him that I'd want to. No one else does."

Gently Draco stroked her palm a slight frown on his forehead. "Panse… I don't understand."

Just as the woman's eyes were trained on her child, Pansy's never left her face. She bit her lip to steady her voice. "Four years ago my mother had an affair.

"My father was working away a lot. He was busy setting up his business, making connections travelling all around the world. He would be away for months at a time and when he returned he'd shower us with gifts. Dolls when I was smaller, with enchanted wings that fluttered like fairies; then perfume and silks as I grew older. Raymond was given miniature dragons- I think that's what inspired him to take up his work.

"He showered mother with gifts too, she was always immaculately dressed- the height of finery. But it didn't make up for not having her husband. Every time he had to leave she would beg him to stay, grip his robes and bury her face in his sleeve. And every time he would sigh a little, kiss her, comfort her but then turn steely and say he simply had to go. As the months went on he devoted less time to us, returning home for fleeting visits. And when the time came to leave he no longer comforted her. He just pecked her on the cheek and told her he would send money. He did. To give him his due, the presents and the money continued, perhaps more than ever before. But money can't make things right.

"She was lonely. So withdrawn. Raymond and I tried to help her but she didn't respond. It was ok for Ray, he was Hogwarts and away from her but I was too young so I stayed with Mother, avoiding her as best I could.

"And then, one day, ironically as if by magic, she was happy again. She started to singing about the house and would pick me up from school. All because of Him. She introduced me to her 'friend'. He was called Graham and was a milkman. Apparently she had met him when he'd delivered the wrong type of milk and she'd kicked off." Pansy giggled at this imagining the look of rage on her mother's usually serene face as she brandished a gold top bottle.

"He was a muggle and didn't know what she was. She'd hide anything magical before he came round and forbade us from ever mentioning it.

I think she intended to tell him. Eventually. But she was ashamed. She came from a pure blood family, one of the oldest, which was partly why she married my father. A union of greatness as it was described in the papers. To fall in love with a muggle… but see I don't think she was ashamed to fall in love… I think it was the shame of explaining the prejudices. Explaining that this world would hate him. The world that she belonged to, the world she loved. Not that she ever had the chance to explain of course."

"How did your father find out?"

"Someone told him. I've no idea who. I'd kill whoever it was. They ruined my life.

"He came home one day out of the blue in a fury. His face was grave and he grabbed my mother by her arm so tight it made her cry out. I tried to follow but the kitchen door was slammed in my face.

"The next day he called Raymond home from school and sat us down. He explained to us that Mother wouldn't be returning. We were told to tell everyone she was ill and bedridden. It was only a week before the summer holidays so we were to go stay with my aunt. Father left that night."

She trailed her foot in the wood chippings that covered the playground floor. Breathing in the crisp air as the shouts of the children playing echoed about.

"I honestly thought he'd killed her." Pansy laughed shakily. "But thank God, I was on the bus to town one day a few weeks later and I saw her arm in arm with him walking down the high street, clear as day. I jabbed that bell frantically until the driver let me off. I trailed her home and snuck up to the window of her council house. Pokey it was- nothing compared to our home- but she looked happy. So happy."

Draco drew her into his arms just as a child fell at their feet. It erupted into mountains of screams, hot tears streaming down its face. Pansy dropped to her knees and cooed over it.

"Oh I'm so sorry! Declan shush! Come on now, it's only a little scuff." The woman smiled apologetically at the young couple frozen in shock.

"Don't worry about it." Pansy stammered.

The woman squinted at her face, confusion etched upon her features. "You look familiar…"

"I- I'm Pansy. Mum- it's me."

For a moment there was a flicker of recognition in her eyes then her face scrunched up with pain. Her eyes looked blank once more. "Mum? I'm not your mum."

"You are, Mum remember, please. Its Pansy. And Ray? Remember when he flew his broomstick straight into your glass vase? You went mental, Mum, you can't have forgotten that. Or whe-"

"Broomstick?" she recoiled in horror. "What are you talking about?"

"Magic. You must remember!"

The woman grabbed her son up and clutched him tightly to her chest as she backed away fearfully. "Why are you hanging round a children's play area? Leave them alone, you psycho!" She grabbed the buggy and hurried away quickly refusing to turn back despite Pansy's pleading calls.

"He wiped her memory. Everything. Gone." She balled her hands into fists and hammered them into Draco's chest. He soothed her, stroking her hair until she calmed enough to sob into his shoulder. "I guess he couldn't take the shame either."

* * *

Okay so please please can someone review? please?


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